Decisions, decisions, decisions.

In my quest to find suitable employment for the fall I applied to 88 open positions. These jobs were in 9 school districts and numerous charter schools. Two weeks ago I was offered a full time position. I was relieved, but still feeling apprehensive.

During those two weeks I have spoken with my current (or possible former) principal, asked numerous questions from the new charter school, received my "contract", and I am stuck. I don't know what to do. So, here is my think-a-loud as I try to come to a clear conclusion. Feel free to comment - any thoughts (other than my own very confused and emotional ones) could be helpful.

Current Public School

Positives

• Love my co-workers. They are nicest, most helpful group of women that I know
• Supportive administration
• Established support services for students (title, special ed, speech, etc.
• Solid district with community support
• I will have a contract
• I will have the same room, in the same building (and I won't have to move truck loads of furniture, books, and materials that belong to me)
• 10 sick days and 4 personal days per full time year (next year I will have 8 and 6 because I only get .7 of that time, however, I have some days that rolled over)
• Teaching 3rd and 4th graders, however, using mainly 4th grade curriculum.
• I would like Tyler to attend kindergarten in this district
• Curriculum that I have taught before and with which I am familiar.
• If I can make it through this year, next year there will be 1-3 teachers retiring from my team. The principal made a point of reminding me of this when I spoke to him about my job offer and my uncertainties.

Negatives

• Not full time. Only .7 FTE.
• Different students for math and reading (like last year though, I will have about 9 students that I have all day). This is both good and bad. It becomes more difficult to establish routines for things like birthdays and sharing. However, it is nice, because it allows teachers to share the more challenging students.
• To make this work financially, I would have to sub on most of our longer breaks (besides the long summer one).
• I would also have to pick up working an after school support program. This is not ideal because it is from 3-5 (and I would be done 1); however, it would allow me time to be after school and get my work done, instead of bringing it home.

New Charter School

Positives

• Full time employment
• Teaching third grade with the same group all day (this is both good and bad - see above)
• New school. It could be my chance to shine with implementing programs or new ideas.
• Full time salary.
• New curriculum - I would have a chance to learn something new and expand my knowledge base.

Concerns

• New school. The school is still being built in hopes that it will be ready mid August.
• New school. There is no track record of performance, no reassurance that it is financially secure, no staff to question regarding the board of directors and how they work with the faculty.
• No contract. It states in my paperwork that I can quit with a 30 day notice, however the board can terminate me, at any time, with or without notice or reason. Slightly frightening.
• Dress code. This should not be a big deal, however, some things concern me, like nylons or socks at all time. This will eventually be a year round school. I have some perfectly appropriate dress shoes and summer dresses, however the shoes have a "toe thing" (don't you love my terminology?) so I couldn't wear nylons - nor would I want to on a 90 degree day. How strictly will this be followed?
• I would have 7 sick days that would be for me only (not my children) and three personal days that could be used only for bereavement. That makes me nervous, especially as a mother. Also, the board has final discretion as to whether or not a sick day may be used for each particular absence.
• I have questions and I haven't gotten answers yet. Hoping to hear back by Monday as the last phone call was made Tuesday (oh, the joy of phone tag).

I want to be excited about having full time employment. I want to be thinking about all the engaging activities that I could do with third graders. I am thrilled with the thought of more financial stability, however, I know that money does not mean happiness (although it does help when paying a mortgage). I want to feel comfortable with my decisions. Currently I am scared. I don't have a great feeling about this. But, is that because I really like where I am at? Am I just afraid to change? Or, are my feelings valid? I don't know!

I haven't quit my current job or sent back the paperwork for my new job yet. I want to feel good about whateve decision it is that I make. I am giving myself until Monday morning.

Ugh. I hate having to make big decisions. Too bad that we can't pay our mortgage in how much we like my current job - that would make this decision a whole lot easier.