Bittersweet

Today was a bittersweet day; and emtionally, I am drained.

Today was the last day of school for my students (and the end of my first year teaching). We watched a powerpoint slideshow that I had prepared, and it was so fun to reminice silently about how much they have changed. There is the obvious physical and academic differences. Most have grown a couple inches, and their faces have matured. They have acquired new knowledge and skills and are continuing on their educational journey. Emotionally and socially, however, were the changes that impressed me. So many have grown tremendously. They started the year with a set group of friends. New friendships have been forged, and compassion has been gained. Emotionally, I had a few "criers" and one that had a quick temper. I am proud of how these students have matured and are now able to better control emotions, or deal with them properly.

Today also marks the last day of certainty (and I think my sanity...). Now, I have no place to go daily with people have become my friends. In six weeks the certainty of a paycheck is gone. It is such an odd feeling. Scary and frustrating, however, I am not paniced - atleast not yet. I absolutely adore the women that I work with. They have been so kind. I am grateful to have been in such a fostering district. Our administrator and support staff are outstanding. I want to be able to return...but financially it is not possible, unless my hours are increased....

Someone asked me today what my plan was for the fall, to which I replied, "I don't know, but it will workout, something will change and it will work. It just has too." I really do believe that, but still it is nerve wracking.

So, here is to my bittersweet day. Hopefully some clarity is soon to follow.